no seriously the @PreschoolGems twitter account is perfect

• “When I grow up I want to be a Canadian.”
• “They said I was cheating, and I was. But cheating doesn’t matter. Life and friends matter.”
• “I CAN find my angry but I CAN’T find my fun.”
• “No, you have to play with me. I love you.”
• “Being happy is actually a good thing.”
• “Since I’m at my house, I can take my pants off. When you get to your house you can take off your pants.”
• “I am a girl who’s tired but she’s still OK.”
• “I don’t want to be myself anymore because I can’t stop eating cheese.”
• “If you want me to be your boyfriend, you’re going to have to chase me.”
• “Feed me pizza or I’ll die.”
• “I’ve got two pretend friends comin’ to my Easter egg hunt, and their names are nothin’ and nobody.”
• “We will become evil and the stars will come alive.” (SERIOUSLY!!!!!!!!!!)
• “Look at me; I’m skiing, and I’m perfect, and I love myself.”
• “I don’t like beautiful things, I like violence.”
• From a Valentine: “I love you and you’re my best friend and we’re going to go up in space.”