(read the fic on AO3!)

heres some more of that homestuck fanfic im writing

The Sleepover: Prologue | Part I | Part II

                The ringing in John’s ears was practically unbearable as he slammed the car door shut. The pumping bass and shouts about booty rocking in any given location had given John a bad migraine, but he was too nice to tell Dave to turn the music off. Besides, he knew full well that Dave would not accept any reality where he was not in control of the music.

                Jade had a good time, however; by the third time the song had played, she had learned the words and she was able to sing along gleefully with Dave by the fourth time. She slammed the passenger door shut and looked towards Dave, who was unsuccessfully fiddling with his GPS. “This is where it says her house should be,” he said in an exasperated tone, “but I don’t see nothing but trees.”

                She could honestly care less whether or not this was Rose’s house, though. She wandered where the car was parked and marveled at the lush forestry surrounding her. On the island where she lived, she was never able to see anything except ocean and the occasional palm tree. The thick trees, which surrounded her small party and stretched as far as her eyes could see, astonished her.

                As she wandered, she noticed a sidewalk hidden amongst the trees. “Hey guys! Maybe this is how you get to Rose’s house,” she exclaimed, also noting the small mailbox next to the walkway. Printed on the mailbox in inexplicably elegant lettering was Rose’s last name: “Lalonde.” Jade, not knowing that it was extremely rude (at least in some eyes) to tamper with mail that is not yours, opened the mailbox and peeked inside. It was practically overflowing with mail. She picked out an envelope and noted aloud that it was to Roxanne Lalonde from the Liquor of the Month Club. Dave snatched the letter from her and put it back with the rest.

                “Jade, don’t you know that it’s rude to tamper with mail that’s not yours? Plus, it’s illegal!” John said as Dave gathered the rest of the mail up in his hands. John regarded this with horror, shouting, “Dave, what did I just say!?”

                “We may as well bring them their mail. Who knows, maybe Roxanne will recommend me for the Liquor of the Month Club,” Dave replied nonchalantly, starting the trek down the walkway. Jade happily slammed the mailbox shut and followed Dave like a loyal hound. John pinched his temple and followed on.

                As they approached the house, they began to stare in disbelief. Rose’s house was a lavish testament to modernist architectural excess. It was built over a waterfall, and the sound of rushing water was a constant. John noticed the observatory, and Dave’s keen eyesight (made keen only by his prescription sunglasses) noticed the small mausoleum in the backyard. They hung a right once they reached the house and stood awkwardly in front of what was ostensibly the front door. Before any of them could muster up enough courage to ring the doorbell, the door swung open.

                Rose calmly stood there, arms folded and a sly smirk about her face. “I was wondering if you would figure out how to reach my house. Congratulations, you passed the first test,” she said, noticing that Dave was holding a pile of her mail. “Ah, you fetched my mail. Good boy, Dave. Would you like a treat?” On the spot, Dave dropped the pile of mail in order to stick his middle finger up at Rose, but she had already turned around, apparently to procure some sort of “treat” for Dave.

                Jade and John took this as an invitation inside, and they were awestruck by the fact that Rose’s house was lavish, inside and out. Also, there were a metric shitton of wizards, not including the large wizard who likely weighed a metric shitton which was directly to the left of the kids. “Don’t you people have luggage?” she asked from the kitchen, where she was rummaging about in the drawers. The three kids slapped their foreheads simultaneously and ran out to retrieve their bags from the Prius.

                When they returned, the pile of mail had been cleaned up and Rose was sitting on the steps in the middle of the room which led upstairs. “Good to see you’re back. I would have hated for our stay together to be so short. Come, sit,” she invited, tapping the stair below her with the palm of her hand. The three kids set down their bags, closed the front door, and joined Rose on the stairs.

                Before anyone could say anything, Jade shrieked at the enormous wizard directly across from the stairs. Rose placed her hands delicately on Jade’s shoulders, quieting her. “No need to worry, Jade. That’s just Zazzerpan the Learned. You get used to him. Just like you get used to the water,” Rose explained. Jade liked the feelings of Rose’s hands on her shoulders and was slightly distressed, albeit less audibly so, when Rose released her.

                “I guess you mean the running water, right?” Dave asked, motioning towards the ground. He adjusted his glasses and was greeted with an impromptu staring contest with Rose. He felt as if she could see his eyes through his glasses. This unnerved him, and he quickly turned away. He knew the answer to his question, anyway. He cleared his throat and said, “What about that treat you said you had for me?”

                Rose smiled and quickly replied, “You’ll find out later.” Without missing a beat, she quickly changed the subject, “Why don’t we bask in the moment? This is the first time all four of us have assembled. We should commemorate the occasion.”

                John put his finger to his mouth and thought for a moment. Unable to come up with anything, he inquired, “How so?”

                At this, Rose stood up. “I’m glad you asked!” she said with an almost unnatural hint of delight in her voice. This scared John, terrified Dave, and elated Jade. She walked over to the kitchen and did a Vanna White-style show-off of the inordinate amount of alcohol she had procured. “My mother is away on business, and she will not return until the three of you leave. While it was not stipulated in any will, living or dead, I assumed that whatever alcohol she did not take with her was left to me. Begrudgingly, I accepted this burden. I am not saying we drink it all, but we should at least try. Is that okay with you three?”

                John replied naïvely, “I’ve never had alcohol before! It’s worth a try.”

                Jade simply beamed so hard she nearly blinded Rose.

                Dave threw off his zip-up hoodie and stood up passionately. “Time to get crunk in this motherfucker,” he declared, resuming his staring contest with Rose.

                “Good. Let’s get started, shall we?”