(read the whole fic on AO3!)

The Sleepover, Part II (this is homestuck fanfiction whoaaa)

The shades-wearing teen stood in the airport terminal, unenthusiastically holding a sign that said “egbert or harley or both w/e” in red text. He had been waiting here for about thirty minutes, and he was getting a bit tired of playing Angry Birds on his iPhone. He had already cleared every level; but there was something about those squawking assholes that made him keep coming back for more. His avian stupor was interrupted by an excited voice.

“Dave!” the source of the excited voice said. Dave looked up; it was John, in the flesh. He was wearing gym shorts; this bugged Dave for some reason. Before Dave could even respond, John was already running up. He hugged Dave with every fiber of his being, forcing Dave to drop the sign.

“Dude, are you hugging me right now?” Dave deadpanned in response to John’s enthused welcome. He didn’t hug back, but he did acknowledge John with a light tap using both his hands.

“What does it look like I’m doing?” was John’s response. Eventually, John released and they both got a chance to look at each other in person for the first time. John found himself looking up at Dave, who was at least six inches taller than John, if not more. “Wow…you’re taller than I thought.”

“I eat my vegetables, man. All I do is veg it up,” Dave explained. John had difficulty telling whether or not he was serious, but this had always been the case. Dave adjusted his shades; he was being serious. But he defined “vegging it up” as lying around on the couch all day.

Their standoff was cut short by another excited yell. “Dave! John! Oh my gosh!” the bespectacled female shouted. She sprinted from where she was standing and wrapped her two friends in a tight group hug. Dave’s arms didn’t move but John was more than happy to return the favor.

“Jade! I’m so happy to see you!” John said. Dave said nothing, but he did offer Jade the double tap. After they released, John found himself looking up at Jade too. She wasn’t as tall as Dave, but she did have a few inches on John. He declined to comment on this.

“Don’t you two have luggage?” Dave asked, noting the fact that both John and Jade had left their luggage behind when they rushed to greet him. They both turned around and, sure enough, their bags were still right where they had left them. Luckily, the Buffalo airport wasn’t busy and there wasn’t really anybody who was going to steal their stuff.

After John and Jade had fetched their luggage, Dave filled them in on the plan. “I got us a sweet rental car. It’s not some Con Air shit, but it’s still pretty awesome. We’ve got it for four days. You guys have flights out in three days, right?” John and Jade nodded their heads. “Awesome. That means three nights in Wizardville. It’s gonna own.”

“Are you driving?” John asked. “I don’t have my license yet…”

“Hell yes I’m driving. Why would I not be driving? Don’t answer that question, because you can’t. Also, you guys are in luck. I brought some mix CDs for us to listen to on the way to Wizardville. No lame radio stations for us.”

“Oh. Well, I brought a CD anyway…” John responded. He then fumbled through his bag, looking for something. “Aha!” he exclaimed, yanking out a jewel case from his bag. It was an Aerosmith greatest hits CD.

“I’m going to ask you to put that away, and you’re going to do it, and we’re going to forget this happened, okay, John?”

“But, Dave—“

“Okay, John?”

Jade was content to watch two of her best friends banter back and forth. She was so excited to finally meet them! She couldn’t wait until they met Rose and they could hang out. She had already braced for the disappointment which would come when they had to leave. But regardless, she knew this was going to be a lot of fun.

“Let’s roll,” Dave ordered, picking up the sign and turning to walk to the rental lot. John clumsily stuck the Aerosmith CD back in his bag and followed. He had forgotten to zip it up, and a few clothes tumbled out. A helpful old lady got his attention and helped him put them back in his bag. Jade’s bag was impeccably packed, and a passing toddler complimented her on her custom Squiddles design.

They got to the rental lot and Dave led them to their car. It was a Toyota Prius.

“Dave, are you serious?” John asked despondently.

“You fucking know it. Throw your junk in this truck and let’s blow this pop stand,” Dave replied absolutely seriously.

Jade happily put her Squiddles bag in the truck and called, “Shotgun!” With her intimate knowledge of firearms, there was basically no way she was not going to end up getting shotgun. She filed in the passenger seat next to Dave and buckled up. Dave followed suit, and John loaded in the backseat, which was more than a little cramped.

“Dave, can you scoot your chair up?” he politely asked.

“No can do, bro. My majestic, long legs have barely got enough room to maneuver about as it stands. It would be hella dangerous if I restricted them anymore,” Dave answered, jamming the key into the ignition and revving up the car.

“Fine, gosh! I’ll just sit behind Jade, you big dumb butt.”

Dave reached in his jacket pocket and pulled out a jewel case, inside which was an unlabeled CD. He removed the CD and put it into the CD player. He rolled all the windows down (even though it was rather cold) and turned the volume all the way up.

“BOOTY BOOTY BOOTY ROCKIN EVERYWHERE! BOOTY BOOTY BOOTY ROCKIN EVERYWHERE! BOOTY BOOTY BOOTY ROCKIN EVERYWHERE! ROCKIN EVERYWHERE! ROCKIN EVERYWHERE! ROCKIN EVERYWHERE! I FOUND YOU, MS. NEW BOOTY…” the radio and Dave blared simultaneously. He knew all the words, and the CD he had inserted was just Ms. New Booty as performed by Bubba Sparxxx featuring The Ying Yang Twins 18 times.

It had played six times and was halfway through a seventh as they pulled into Rose’s driveway.